InuYasha and the Dreaded Etiquette
by Kyoureshi
Summary: InuYasha and Kagome get into another fight about Kagome's cooking. InuYasha feels bad for himself so he goes into the present to learn some etiquette from Kagome's mother.
1. Food Quality

"Not your stupid cooking again! Don't you have anything better like ramen?" InuYasha was starving, and all he wanted was some of that ramen Kagome always brings.  
"Why do you consistently mock my cooking? Is it only because all you have is a taste for ramen?" Kagome glared at InuYasha angrily. He always cringed at Kagome's cooking and she was getting fed up with it.  
"No, it's just that your cooking sucks!" InuYasha jumped into a nearby tree and mumbled under his breath. If only he wasn't so loud, the others wouldn't hear him. "Stupid, no good cooking of Kagome's! She always brings ramen for me! Just for me! Why not this time? Why not always?"  
"Why not always? I don't bring ramen just for you always because you don't always need ramen!" Kagome staggered away to the well. She looked into it and thought about what she had said about wanting to stay with InuYasha. 'I don't understand why I even had the mere thought of wanting to be with him... I don't even understand why it wasn't over in the first place... Maybe InuYasha would've been better off with Kikyo... Hell no... He'd be better off alone...'  
'Kagome, why can't you see I don't like your cooking... Why do you always insist I'm gonna like everything you make... What am I thinking? Feh... Kagome's right... All it is is the fact that all I like is the ramen she brings from her time... Maybe I should go to her time and ask her mother to make something so I can gain a taste for her food... Guess it's the only thing I can do to gain Kagome's trust to like her cooking... Maybe learn some manners they have in her time...'  
"InuYasha hasn't returned, Kagome." Shippou had a weary look that of a child's on his face. "He's really worrying me. Why all this fuss over your meals? I think they're better than the ones at those big palaces!"  
"Shippou's right, Kagome." Sango took the very same look as Shippou. "You two are always fighting. It's getting us all worried. I think you guys need to make a compromise or something of that matter."  
"Sango, if only you knew love between a couple," Miroku had the face of an expert upon his mug as he put his arm around Sango starting to lower it down her back, "you would understand these fits Kagome and InuYasha are always getting theirselves into." Sango scooted away and slapped Miroku where it left a red mark. She and Kagome gave Miroku cruel looks.  
"WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT LOVE, YOU PERVERT!" They both shouted at the same time, then looked away and ate Kagome's meal. Shippou had a funny look on his face as he stared at everybody while eating his sushi.  
InuYasha was at the well thinking of how he should act when he entered the present without Kagome. "Well, here goes nothing..." InuYasha jumped into the well without another thought. 


	2. For Starters

The Sengoku Jidai...  
  
"Where is he, that little mutt-face?" Kagome was frustrated. There was no trace of InuYasha anywhere. The word mutt-face brought Koga back to her thoughts. 'Humph... Koga is a lot kinder and more expressive with his love for me... Heck... InuYasha barely does anything to express any kind of feeling for me... He doesn't even compliment my food... I wish something in his dog brain would turn up so he wouldn't be such a pain every second of my life here in the Sengoku Jidai...'  
"Did you find him yet, Kagome?"  
"No, Sango. He probably went off to cool down or something."  
"You could be right. He'll do anything just to piss you off sometimes. He's probably being obnoxious because he's nervous around you and doesn't feel like exposing his true thoughts to you."  
  
The Present...  
  
"H-hello? Anybody there?" There were soft swooshing noises coming from nearby the house. "Hey, Gramps!"  
"InuYasha? Is that you?"  
"Uh... Yeah... It is."  
"Why isn't Kagome with you?"  
"Well, I kinda came on my own."  
"Come on in, then! Kagome's mother is making dinner right now!" This was InuYasha's chance. If he tried something else besides ramen noodles, this was it.  
"Ghh... Sure..." InuYasha followed Gramps into Kagome's house. He was very nervous because he came into the present uninvited, plus the fact that Kagome wasn't with him seemed... weird. Never once did InuYasha go to the present without Kagome or without her being there. It was always them two in the present together mostly, that is if InuYasha was there.  
"Hey, there InuYasha!" Souta was happy as ever to see InuYasha. "Wanna watch TV or something after dinner?" InuYasha was very confused on what to say. He didn't want to put down Souta, but he had to get this 'manners' stuff into his head, for Kagome's sake.  
"Sorry, kid. Got stuff to do."  
"Oh, all right..."  
"Hey, don't look down, kid. I'll do something with ya later if I have time. Okay?"  
"OKAY!" Souta's face brightened up. He gobbled down his meal within minutes. As for InuYasha, he tried to remember how Kagome and the others besides Shippou ate, mouth closed, no talking, and no sucking fingers. 'Mmhmm.' This was the first time InuYasha ate silently. All the other times at meals his smacking was way beyond Souta's.  
"InuYasha, would you like some sake?" Kagome's mother. She was always the most cheerful of the family. And of course, she was wearing a smug grin as she always did at InuYasha.  
"N-no thank you." That was a first for anyone else beside Kagome. That's probably one of the only good things he ever said to Kagome. 


	3. Explanation

Sengoku Jidai...  
  
"INUYASHA, YOU ASSHOLE! WHERE ARE YOU!?" the group was all over the area searching for him, but there wasn't the least bit of evidence of him as always. "Shippou, can't you sniff him out? I mean, you're a kitsune."  
"I would if I could, but I'm still little, remember!" Shippou had a stubborn look on his face. He just admitted he was little once again.  
"Where could he be? I'll bet he's out for women finally!" Miroku was feeling snug, and then it hit him. InuYasha was out with his women! 'Then again, hopefully not...'  
"Kirara, can you sniff that stubborn dog out?"  
"Mew-ew" Kirara shook her head.  
"Then we'll just have to keep trying..." Sango sighed and went on. 'Oh, InuYasha... Where'd you run off to this time?' Kagome's angry, red face turned to a worried one. Sango, Miroku, and Shippou were still out trying to look for InuYasha.  
  
The Present...  
  
"Thank you, Oka San." (Wow! Another one!) "Why, you're welcome, InuYasha!" Kagome's mother took everyone's platters and washed them. InuYasha went to watch the TV with Souta. As he waited for Oka San to get finished with the dishes, he grew more nervous with each waiting second. By now his hands were sweaty and his ears were drooping down. Plus his eyes were wide open.  
"Something wrong, dog bro?"  
"Um, uh... No! No! I'm j-just fine! Heh, heh! Better than ever!"  
"That's what they always say, now what's up?"  
"Nothing... just keep it at that..."  
"Hmm... Yeah right."  
"GYAAAH!" InuYasha screamed whenever Kagome's mother tapped him on the shoulder. He was over inhaling for a few seconds and looked back at Oka San.  
"Now, I'm sure you came for a reason InuYasha. And you're acting awfully nice this time. What is it that you wanted?" Kagome's mother was still wearing that grin. It was as if she was always grinning every time InuYasha came.  
"Well... Ya see... I kind of disappointed Kagome back in the Sengoku Jidai... because... we kind of don't have very many manners... I was hoping you could teach me the manners you have here in your era..." InuYasha was rocking back and forth and looking down. His hands were sweatier than before and he felt like his eyes were bulging out. 'Gulp...'  
Oka San's grin grew from an eye to eye to an ear to ear. "I'll see what I can do! Just a second and I'll be right back!" she turned away and went to get something.  
"Ooh... Manners to mend a relationship problem..." Souta had an annoying grimace lurking upon his face.  
"Yeah, what of it!?" InuYasha started shacking because the worst thing that can happen during a relationship crisis is a kid getting involved.  
"Well, c'mon! Tell me about what's going on between you and Kagome!" The grimace just wouldn't disappear, and InuYasha was getting very annoyed by it staying there.  
"Why do you need to know about love relationships? You're just a kid!" Now InuYasha was gripping his fingers tightly. He just said it. Love. To a kid who barely knows what the word even means. Then another thought got to him. Love. What does InuYasha know about love relationships? He knows that he's trying to make Kagome happy. He knows he just said 'love' about he and Kagome. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- Woo.... This story is gettin' good ;-D Sniff.... I DO NOT OWN INU!!! *runs off crying* 


	4. Visitor

The Present...  
  
"Okay, InuYasha! What do you want to do first? Learn our era's manners, or go shopping?" Shopping? It was always hectic going shopping with Kagome. Every time they went shopping for supplies, Kagome would always bring up that 'What do you want?' line. Well, how was InuYasha supposed to know what he wanted besides food? He had barely any clue as to what they had in the feudal era besides food and clothes. If it was clothes, he didn't know what style to wear because all he ever wore was that red kimono hakama. "Uh... I'll g-go shopping..." InuYasha had to get it over with before things got worse. "Can I go? Can go? Please?! I'll know what kind of clothes InuYasha will want because I'm a boy!" "Alright, Souta. You can help InuYasha pick out what he wants." She looked down at InuYasha's hands. "Wow! You have claws too? I guess that's to be expected since you're a dog demon. We can just clip those off!" Oka San looked back up at InuYasha with that never-ending grin. InuYasha's heart started to beat so fast he burst. He shouted the words that had to come out in order to better defend himself in battle. He couldn't without his claws butchered off. Kagome would understand. "No! You can't!" "But they're so long! You have to look nice! Besides, no one sees guys with long fingernails, and it's not very attractive, either." Nice? Attractive?? Now it was like InuYasha and Kagome were going on a date! "I'm serious! I need them for when I'm in battle!" "Battle!?" Oka San's grin finally toned down a bit, but that was a sign trouble was going to start. "Uh... Y-yea! Battles with cats! We dog demons h-have them all the time! T-to lower the population of those darn lazy cats! They're so dang useless!" Kagome's mother looked down at poor Buyo hanging on Souta's leg. "Well, can't you give it up for a little while? They'll grow back in no time." That was a fact. InuYasha's demon nature gave him the strength to heal faster than humans- including growing fingernails back. "Oh, alright..." InuYasha rolled his eyes in dismay. "Whatever..." He raised his hands in front of him where Kagome's mother clipped his nails. His eyes cringed whenever he heard the 'clip clip' as they butchered his claws. Then there were knock on the door. "One moment you two." Oka San went to the door. What a time for him! It was Houjo and InuYasha didn't have his cap on. "Konnichiwa, Oka San! I brought you some herbs and medicine for Kagome. How is she?" "She's fine, but is still dizzy and vomiting every once and a while. "Then may I see her?" "Better not. I would hate for you to catch whatever she has." "O-okay." Houjo's face was very misunderstanding and confused. InuYasha's eye slits narrowed as he heard that voice. A voice he remembered from the time he ruined Kagome's school play. InuYasha balled his fists and almost started to run to the door to sock Houjo, but Souta stopped him. Now Souta was really in the way. "Hey! Let me go, you!" "No! Do you want to learn our manners or not?" "Yes, I do! But after I'm finished with this woman stealer!" "So you do love Kagome!" "You fly!" InuYasha grazed Souta on the head like he usually does to Shippou. Souta was pulling on InuYasha's ears and locks, while InuYasha was shaking Souta by his shirt. "Did I miss something?" Kagome's mom walked in with Houjo. "Umm... Me and InuYasha were just w-wrestling while we waited!" InuYasha just gave Houjo a very cold stare, as he lay paused on the ground. He looked over what Houjo wore very closely so he knew what to get. Why were looks a part of this etiquette thing anyways? 'So that's what Kagome likes...' "Houjo, I believe you recognize this man. The guy who jumped through the roof at the school festival play?" "Hello, InuYasha. I'm Houjo. I'm a friend of Kagome's. I see you like that costume a lot, since you're wearing and all." "Uh, yeah." InuYasha was astonished at how Houjo was so polite after watching him wrestling with Souta. He didn't even fuss at how InuYasha took off with Kagome at the play! 'What's with this guy? He doesn't seem like a bad guy at all. No wonder Kagome likes him so much; he's educated, polite, and caring... Like I could beat that...' 


	5. Powerful Feeling

The Sengoku Jidai...  
  
"I wish I knew what InuYasha was up to..." Shippou sighed as he lay watching the stars.  
"Me, too Shippou. Speaking of which, I wonder what Sango and Miroku are doing. They said they would be back in the morning... It's getting dark, Shippou. Let's go to Kaede's." 'InuYasha... Where are you...' Kagome frowned as she entered Kaede's hut.  
"What are ye two doing out at this time of night?"  
"Nothing, just walking around..."  
"Kagome, ye seem saddened. What ails thee?  
"Everyone's worried because InuYasha left again without a trace... We still can't find him. And Sango and Miroku said they had some business to tend to, and they won't be back until tomorrow morning."  
"Aye. So the dog left again, I see."  
"Business to tend to?! Won't be back 'till morning?! Kagome, do you think Miroku and Sango are having sex?!"  
"HUH?!"  
  
The Present...  
  
"Well, it was nice meeting you, InuYasha. Kagome is very nice. I'm glad she likes you!" InuYasha was totally stumped from there. His eyes were literally bulging out and his mouth was wide open.  
'That creep! I thought he liked Kagome! Kagome, your true boyfriend just dumped you...'  
"Alright! Now, let's do a check before we go shopping... Hair is very fine... Ears as cute as can be... Ears! You need to wear that cap of yours!"  
"Uh oh..." Oka San grabbed the hat and plopped it on InuYasha's head, covering his kawaii ears. They went outside to the car. Oka San unlocked it and got in. InuYasha just stood by the passenger door.  
"Well, get in!" Oka San said, regaining that big grin.  
"O-okay..." InuYasha stepped in and wondered how all the buttons and that wheel worked.  
"Don't worry. If you stay here, I promise to get you a driver's permit!" Oka San joked.  
"D-driver's permit?!" Now InuYasha was officially scared to death.  
"Just kidding!" InuYasha had no clue what all this meant. They said things a bit differently and had very little figure of speech, and what did this 'Just kidding' line mean? Anyway, Japan had definitely changed within 500 years.  
"Uh huh." InuYasha looked at Oka San as she looked ahead at the road.  
"So, InuYasha, what kinds of clothes are ya gonna get?" Souta's grimace was gone. It was changed into a plain curious smile.  
"Nice clothes that aren't red."  
  
I hafta write more chapters while listening to 'Shinjitsu no Shi' by Do As Infinity. It's very powerful stuff, and it somehow gave me the idea to do the awesome cliffhanger. It's my favorite Inu song so far! ;-p I dunno why this chapter was so short, but the ending was so kewl, I had to stop it there. 


	6. Announcement in the Argument

The Sengoku Jidai...  
  
"Kagome? Kagome! Are you alright? I'm sure InuYasha will show up soon. He's never out too long. He really cares about you!" Shippou had looked up at Kagome who was sitting in the corner of Kaede's home facing the fire with her head between her legs. Kaede was fast asleep.  
"What do you know, fox boy? The way InuYasha's treating me isn't caring... It's not even to the point of..." Kagome lifted her head and looked at the fire. Remembering everything in the past. The retrospect didn't have Kagome in it at all. She knew Kikyou was dead, but everything came back. She saw InuYasha shout 'I never stop thinking about you, Kikyou! Not even for an instant!' Then she saw InuYasha and Kikyou kiss. It was like it was happening right then and there. Kagome clutched opposite arms and her eyes turned into horizontal slits while a tear slipped down her cheek.  
"Kagome, why are you looking like that? Are you sure you're okay?" Sango came in and sat down without Miroku. Kagome and Shippou noticed, but didn't really care because they were too caught up in their own business.  
"You know what, fox boy? I've just about had enough of you and your butting in with me and InuYasha's relationship." Sango looked back at the two. She tried to let the words rush out of her mouth, but Kagome kept on going. "You think you know so much about triangles, don't you? Well, you know what? You don't! So go away, now!" Tears welled up in Shippou's eyes. He ran out of Kaede's house without turning back. Kirara stopped at the entrance. Sango gave a worried stare at Shippou and turned to Kagome.  
"K-kagome, what was that all about? Shippou was merely worried about your condition." Realizing what she had just done, Kagome's face turned to normal. A second tear slid down her face.  
"Sango! W-what are you d-doing here? I thought you weren't gonna be back until morning!" Sango sat down across the room from Kagome. "Me and Miroku thought our business was finished." Sango tried hiding her anger with a smile but Kagome could clearly see she was mad. That stuck another thought in Kagome's memories and she began to cry. if InuYasha still loves Kikyou? What if h-he's going to find Kikyou again?" Sango crawled to Kagome's side and hugged her the  
"Oh, Kagome. Kikyou is dead. She doesn't exist anymore, remember?"  
"I know she's dead again, b-but InuYasha is probably howling for her to come back! I don't know why he would go after her anymore after she's dead, but he said he never stops thinking about Kikyou!" Now Kagome's face was soaked in tears. Her hands wouldn't stop sweeping the tears that would just smear everywhere.  
"Kagome, it's all right. I know how you feel."  
"R-really? How?" Kagome looked puzzled at Sango's face. Sango just realized she had no idea. She knew what Kagome was going through. She had just never gone through it herself. "At least Miroku isn't chasing or th- thinking about some old dead woman!"  
"Well, yea, but- " Kirara stared at them.  
"Sango... I-I love... I love InuYasha... I don't want him to think about Kikyou. She's dead and doesn't deserve to be thought about... She killed InuYasha, damnit!"  
"The truth is, Kagome, that's what I think about every woman Miroku meets... just not the dead part."  
"Heh... Men are so stupid... They do everything to get the girl of their dreams, yet they enjoy looking at other women." Kagome had stopped crying and her face was all red. Her nose was stopped up and she had a burning headache.  
"It looks about time to g- Where's Miroku?"  
"Oh no! I can't believe Miroku left too! If this keeps up, my head's gonna explode!"  
"Men are so stubborn! They never ever do anything right !"  
"What was that, ladies?" Kagome and Sango looked up at Miroku who was standing at the entrance holding Shippou by the tail. Sango got up and started blowing up in his face.  
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE LEAVING? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU LEFT ME WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE, ESPECIALLY AT NIGHT! YOU'RE SO STUPID!!!" Miroku dropped Shippou as he backed up.  
"Hey! Don't be so... So... I don't know, just stop blowing up in my face! It might be too scared to hit on the other women." This got Sango angrier than before.  
"YOU TWO TIMING PERVERT! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! YOU'RE SO SELFISH!!!" Sango whacked Miroku in the middle of his face. "THERE! NOW YOU WON'T BE HITTING ON ANYMORE GIRLS! NOW I GUESS IT'S SAFE TO SAY I'M PREGNANT AFTER A COUPLE WEEKS OF SEX!!!" Sango stood over Miroku who was crawling on the floor. "Pr-pregnant?" Kagome whimpered. That's when it hit Miroku. "S-sango? Y-you're pregnant?" Miroku was on all fours, wide-eyed staring at Sango. Then a huge grin flew across his face. "You're really pregnant?" Sango looked down at Miroku. "Yea, Miroku. I'm pregnant." Miroku got up and grabbed Sango's hands. "I- I mean, we did it! You're pregnant!" Sango's angry look suddenly turned into a blush and a huge smile. Miroku and Sango all of a sudden started jumping up and down. "WE DID IT! WE DID IT!" Shippou finally snapped out of his unconsciousness from the fall. "Nnngh... Did what?" Miroku and Sango jumped in front of Shippou and flung their arms out. "SANGO'SI'M PREGNANT!"  
"I knew it! So that's why you two were gone twenty minutes ago!"  
"Shippou, why do you know about these things?" Miroku's grin stayed as he asked.  
"Well-"  
"HA! HA! HA! THE LITTLE FOX IS BECOMING A BIT A PERVERT HIMSELF I SEE!" Everyone had totally forgotten Kagome who was still in her corner. She was so stunned with Sango's news that she just had to make a funny face about it.  
"Hey, I just know things! I would never touch a womans ass!"  
"That's just my way of flattery!"  
"Actually it's more of a 'you have a nice rear' pat." They all kept on arguing, but Kagome just sat there stunned.  
  
The Present...  
  
"Alright, you two! We only have thirty minutes until the store closes! We need to hurry up so InuYasha can get some new clothes and make up with... er, make Kagome feel better!" This little trip to get a couple articles of clothing seemed more like a drill at boot camp. InuYasha was severely embarrassed by this and got out of the car red as a tomato.  
"Souta, you can take InuYasha to the men's area and I'll wait up front!"  
"Got it, Mom!" Souta grabbed InuYasha and dragged him to the back of the clothing store. InuYasha looked around.  
'So this is what people wear in Kagome's era?' He saw nice khaki pants and cotton button-up shirts. 'InuYasha, you've been in worse situations than switching a red kimono-hakama for whatever they call these things'  
"Hey, InuYasha! C'mere! I think you might like this!" Souta held up a white button-up shirt.  
"Kid, what do they call these things?"  
"Kagome never told you what a shirt was? Man, she's way behind in telling you stuff about our time. I'm sure you've seen a lot of Tokyo, since she's taken you shopping with her already. So how do you like it?" Souta lifted the shirt agains InuYasha's chest. InuYasha just stared at it without any sign of an approval. "Okay, I guess we'll keep it since it looks good on you. Now let's find pants!"  
'Pants? What the hell are pants?' Souta caught a glimpse of InuYasha's confused look.  
"And if you're wondering what pants are, they're like those red pants you're wearing, just tighter, like what I'm wearing." InuYasha looked down at Souta's pants. They didn't look very flexible. Souta scrambled through the racks of pants. "Darn, I wish they had size tags back in the feudal era. It's getting to be a pain finding clothes for you. Here take these. We're going to the fitting rooms. And we have to hurry. Only ten minutes 'till the store closes." Souta pushed InuYasha all the way to the fitting rooms to try his clothes on.  
'Why the hell am I doing this? This isn't what I expected it to be...' InuYasha looked around his confined room. It was so closed in, but nobody could see him. Hesitantly, InuYasha undressed out of his kimono-hakama. He held up the white shirt in front of him and cringed. 'I'm so stupid. Why did I even want to do this in the first place? I hate Kagome's era... Why did it have to change so much... Things would be a lot better off without change...'  
"Come on InuYasha! We don't have a lot of time left. Are you finished?" InuYasha looked at the shirt and the pants one last time before Souta took them. It wouldn't hurt just to tell a little white lie. InuYasha could just act like he was using that toilet thing that they use in the present and change in there.  
"Yea. Just need to get my kimono on!"  
"Then give the shirt and pants to me so Mom can pay for 'em." 


End file.
